Swingers and a douche

Yes, I know. You saw the title and thought you were in for something a bit juicy! Whatever do you take me for? All will be explained in due course.

It all started last week when mum and dad decided to buy one of those swing sofa type things for the garden. Apparently they had some romantic idea of swinging together, drinks in hand, watching the sun go down (or something like that). Personally I think it was a bit of a stupid idea as I cannot imagine how they think they are not going to immediately soak it in bottle stuff given the way they fill their glasses.

Anyway, after I had sorted dad out with the assembly of said item I was then told in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed on it. Zoot alors! You could have knocked me down with with a bonio when, early this afternoon,  I was actually invited to join mum on it.

OK - I was slow, I admit. I should have smelt a rat. Perhaps the fact that dad was stripped to his swimmers and was frantically filling buckets with water should have been a give-away. But no, after just a few minutes of this upholstered bliss, and with all the buckets now full, I was suddenly lassoed and hauled off to the front lawn. Then it clicked - it was time for the summer douche (French for shower) and I had been duped again.

This ritual humiliation always takes place on one of the first really hot days of summer so I cannot understand why I was not more prepared. And why is it necessary? Do I smell that bad? Am I crawling with fleas? No, none of that. They just want me to look smart for our summer visitors! I ask you. Aren't my charm, elegance, and downright good looks sufficient to win the hearts of any passing human? Anyway, it is now over for a while and unless I find something really objectionable to roll in I could be bath free for a few months.

Problem is that all this being washed and then having to groom yourself for hours afterwards is really tiring, especially in this heat (30 degrees today). To avoid exhaustion I feel I should now rest for a while.

Yippee! The rumours were true.

So it was Auntie Karen and Uncle Dave who turned up on Thursday. I was sooooh pleased to see them. We all had a really nice few days together and I must admit to two-timing my dad a bit in favour of Uncle Dave.

They helped us with a couple of our on going projects while they were here with Uncle Dave assisting dad and I in putting up the new panels behind the pool. They look very smart.

Meanwhile the two girls took on the task of cutting out the new summer pool cover to shape, and a very good job they made of it. Then we all joined in to install it with the guys sorting out the roller and Auntie Karen in the pool aligning the cover.

I had some lovely walks with them both and only disgraced myself on the last day when I decided to go walkabout for a while during my morning walk. It was only for about 15 minutes and I did return to Uncle Dave eventually, so I don't really understand why everyone got so upset!

All this being sociable is all right but fair wears you out and we have got some more guests arriving in a fortnight.

I need to be at my best for them so am off to get some well-earned beauty sleep.

Building my harem

Unlike you Western World humans who are apparently limited (at least morally) to one significant relationship at a time, us dogs (and seemingly Premier League footballers too) can have as many as we like.

To this end I have been steadily building my harem of female "friends" since I was quite young. Lilly from Antugnac was my first and is still my favourite. Then there is Fanny, the border collie, who I met up in the vines. Today I added a new conquest to my harem.

She is Tosca, a 4 month old labrador/border collie cross, who came to visit us today. Apparently she is borrowing my sleeping/transport cage as I no longer have need of it. Now I can hear some of you shouting "Jailbait!" at the thought of me with one so young but I have no problem with it. I am also quite partial to the older woman - Lilly, for example, is older than me. In that vein I quite like what I have heard about Princess Jolly Dog but until I actually meet her I cannot truely assess whether she is harem material.

Chasing a 4 month old around the garden fair takes it out of you. I'm not as young as  I was so am off to have a recovery snooze.

Food parcel arrives and I learn about crepie

The other day the UPS van turned up with a large box from the UK which, when opened, was found to contain essential food supplies for my mum and dad like tea bags, marmite and bovril. Now when these care packages arrive it usually heralds the imminent arrival of some summer visitors so I started to get a bit excited and tried to guess who was likely to turn up. An additional item in the parcel was a small packet of special tablets for my nappy rash problem so that was a big clue. Having also heard their name mentioned recently, I am over the moon with excitement at the thought that it could be Auntie Karen and Uncle Dave as I have not seen them for nearly two years. Not long to wait, as apparently the "mystery guests" arrive on Thursday. Will report back soon on that.

Having now got rid of the horrible trees at the back of the pool dad has decided to tidy up that area and has set to work making the wall look good before putting up some fence panels. I am quite familiar with ordinary paint as I have stuck my nose in a few varieties and colours but this was no paint. Turns out it is a strange stuff that the French use for covering and outside or inside surfaces (if they ever bother!) called crepie. It's a thick, gloopy, sandy sort of stuff that dad has to trowel on and then texture with some special roller. Not only that but it does not either taste or smell nice. Still at least I know now!

I think it must be the crepie fumes or something but I feel the need for a lie down. Speak soon.

Trees, training, and a busy day

Well, it finally happened. On Friday the trees at the back of our swimming pool came down - all 20 of the 8/9 metre conifers. What a difference. I can now see any trespassing dogs within about half a kilometre, the pool is in full sunshine, and we can even see the Pyrenees in the distance. Some before and after pics to show you the difference.

I am currently in training for a top secret job that I will perform later this year. If fact, it is so top secret that even the people I am doing if for don't know about it. You may not be aware but grape rustling is the latest crime to hit this region. Only last year two large trailer loads of high quality grapes were pinched from under the vigneron's nose. So I have set myself up as the local anti rustling protection force and during the harvest I will be on duty to ensure that none of our lovely grapes go astray. Here you can see me outside my security office and keeping a lookout over the vines.
























The job is unpaid but I reward myself with more than the odd mouthful of grapes in the season.

Yesterday was a very social day with three outings to the shops, Uncle Trevor and Auntie Jane popping in during the day, and Uncle Stuart, Auntie Jo, and the Lecoches all round for dinner. Naturally I had to do the greeting and hosting duties so what with that and the daytime activity, I did not get any chance for a nap. Futhermore, this morning I was given my monthly tick and flea treatment which always makes me drowsy. As a result, I have spent much of the morning curled up on the sofa resting!